Well it's official, the holiday season rush has begun. Have you noticed that the stress at this time of year can seem to be going 'off the charts', compared to at other times?
And, it's not the pressure of buying the gifts, finding the perfect parking spot (or any spot for that matter), knowing what to cook and how to meet the needs of all your relatives, ...the list goes on. Nope, it's most often because...
All of us has them.
Many of us don't know where they came from.
Some of us live compromised lives because of them.
A few of us understand how easily they can be changed.
What am I talking about?
Your childhood burdens, hurting parts and limiting beliefs.
Anticipating the good times with family over the holidays can often trigger memories of events or experiences long thought forgotten.
Sometimes at this point in the year, we feel out-of-sorts and don't know why! We should be happy. We should be enjoying the anticipated celebrations. We should want to spend time with those who we hold most dear. ... And instead, the truth is that it's HAAARRRRDD!!
The holiday's are often more stressful because these events trigger our deepest inner wounds. Our heightened expectations of how we "should be" with our family and friends, coming together even for a short while, highlights all that was good - and all that wasn't - when we were children.
I'm sure you know what I mean... sibling rivalry can show up in snide comments and annoying looks. Feeling small or 'not enough' can show up with the sense that the gifts we give aren't big enough, bold enough, creative enough, expensive enough, wrapped well enough, etc..
The tiniest error or criticism can leave us feeling completely unhinged and totally powerless. Even when we can see the family dynamics play out over and over in a myriad of ways, it's so easy to become unsnarled in the traps of the family's habits, behaviours and the roles which are most familiar.
Events from childhood, have the power to shape our lives. That's the bad news.
We may discover issues around trust, or perhaps we find ourselves mirroring unwanted actions from our parents, instinctively. We may find ourselves thinking or saying the hurtful words we heard as a child. We may have thought, "I'll never say that!" and then, of course, we DO! Then, what follows is a sense of guilt, shame or blame just to add to the pain.
Some first experiences were just challenges to overcome and encouraged us to make use of our talents and interests. Through that process, Character was built. Other experiences lay dormant until adulthood, when our closest relationships - especially with family - help to bring out the deeper, more vulnerable Parts of ourselves. This time of year is often when un-examined lessons are put to use and un-intended childhood experience, makes itself known in a call for healing.
Madison, from Daily Om, is right when she says:
We all have the ability to heal ourselves from childhood pain at the deepest level. That's good news!
No matter what the circumstance faced as a child, we now have the power within us to heal ourselves at the deepest level. With the wisdom of being an adult, and the ability to choose, we can become the loving caregiver that we wanted and needed.
With the wisdom of age and experience, we have an opportunity to see events from a different perspective, bringing new understanding and become free from the hold of the past.
You CAN have a healthy, happy holiday in 2018!
Life offers opportunities to clear away the WEEDS from the garden of our mind. Leaving these weeds (wounds) to grow, simply continues the drain of our energy and resources, preventing us from living the life we desire today.
You don't have to go the journey alone. Often kindness and support are needed to release the hold of past events. Turning to a trained professional who can offer tools for healing can be a valid choice.
Remember: the little child we once were, still lives on within us.
It's never too late. We are always free to right old wrongs, correct mistaken perceptions, heal inner wounds, forgive to set ourselves free, and begin anew.
Start healing NOW and enjoy the holidays!
Wishing you and all you hold dear, a wonderful holiday season!