For those who haven't spent a great deal of time with me... I'm a self-professed recovering "Naturally Overly-Generous, Perfectionist, Always-too-busy, Nice Girl" 😁

And... after taking a deep dive into self-development and healing over the years, I noticed that most of us with a compelling 'need to please...' share similar issues and challenges.

What we really need to know is the if, how and when of saying NO, to understand where to draw the line - without feeling guilty, and how to stop giving-up, giving-in or going-along just to avoid conflict and keep others happy. 

Seriously, eh?!

As a Coach and Hypnotherapist, I now specialize in helping over contributors identify and clear their self- limiting stories. I've supported many to begin their recovery from the 'disease to please'. Because similar challenges pop up so often, I wonder... do these sound familiar to you?

👉 I'm sick and tired of feeling stressed, anxious, rushed and overextended most of the time. Or, I notice that panic attacks happen especially when I'm overwhelmed.
👉 I work hard proving myself, but no matter how much I do, or how hard I try, it doesn't feel like it's ever enough.
👉 I don't know how to draw the line without feeling selfish, getting people upset or feeling criticized.
👉 Pleasure really needs to be earned. So, sex and sensuality are near the bottom of my self-care list.
👉 I lie to myself about achieving my dreams, saying 'one day' or 'someday soon...' which basically means never!
👉 I want my relationships to feel more comfortable, and I can't figure out what more I can do.

If any of these resonate with you (and I bet several do), then this News Flash is for you!

This month I'll share five strategies based on work I've done with clients, who find themselves typically "over-pleasing". You'll be able to use the information immediately to know more about who you are and get more of what you want, right now.

Sound good?

These strategies get great results!

You don't need to do everything, but the more you choose to do, the more likely you are to start achieving your goals and doing more of what you Love. Of course, if you'd prefer more support, go ahead and download this free resource  or ask me about other ways I can directly connect with you.

Now, on to the strategies...

1. Overcome the procrastination that causes frustration and stagnation.
There's a biological reason we are compelled to pause before taking action, however for some, that Pause seems to last longer and keep them in a state of anxiety or overwhelm.

A simple method for getting yourself moving is the '5 Second Rule' (nope, not the food related one!) This  launches you into your next activity. Using a similar concept to boosting a rocket into space, you use a simple 5 to 1 countdown to get yourself going again.

It's like playing a game, and that's partly why it works!

This method has a scientific basis for overcoming the brain's naturally occuring inertia. You're welcome to read more about it in a previous News Flash HERE.  ...Hey, don't wait another minute, just count  5..4..3..2..1.. click on the link  ...GO!

2. Understand what stresses you out.
What are your top ten stress-creators at the moment? Make a list then sort using a simple T-chart with one side titled MINE and on the other NOT MINE.

What items on your list are favours being done for others or responsibilities you've accepted that aren't really yours?

Decide whether each stressor is actually yours or whether you've taken it on for someone else. Be aware that we often avoid our own 'stuff' in lieu of helping others deal with their 'stuff'.

Lighten the load by taking those NOT MINE items and return the responsibility to the rightful owner. Squeezing the time to meet your own responsibilities, between doing favours for others, leads to feeling stressed and overwhelmed!

While doing this, you might find that it's time to learn how to take a stand.  Can you set boundaries? What happens when you let others know you won't continue to shoulder their burdens?

Of course, telling them is easier said than done, and if you find it a challenge, send me a quick message and I'll send directions for how we can connect briefly over virtual coffee.

3. Subconscious beliefs drive your behaviour and create your experiences.
Once you become aware of a self-limiting belief, for example: "I am not good enough" or a story like: "I must be nice, so others like me", then you begin to understand why you're obligated to work hard and help others.

Awareness is the first step. One great way to bring these stories into your awareness is free flow writing. At the top of a fresh page write the words "I believe I am..." and then let your mind fill in the rest. Focus on who you are related to topics like: Work, Health, Wealth, Relationships.

It's important not to judge what comes up. Just allow yourself to write. Like brainstorming, keep going until there's nothing left - pause - and wait for more. It's surprising what is lurking below the surface! Some people have a few undesirable beliefs, most of us have many, so it's best not to be judgmental about the number of beliefs you write, either!

Ask: What did I find surprising?  What beliefs would I rather release or replace?

If a belief is causing a problem, it will carry an emotional charge for you. Some beliefs make you feel good, others not so much. "This is a table" is a thought that carries little or no emotional charge, however, feeling that "I am unworthy" might carry a big one!

This tip is about shifting your mindset. It takes courage to be vulnerable and admit (even to yourself) how things really are. When known, the second step then helps us turn the thoughts around and create a situation that works better. Because, all beliefs are strengthened by the stories we tell as well as the images in our mind. Once we acknowledge resistance, doubt or fear, we can move beyond it.

Your miracle may be just around the corner...however, you must be ready to receive it!

I've worked with many people who have a tremendous desire for success, yet the "Yeah, but..." voices in their mind kept them stuck. The good news...? There are many strategies for shifting blocks and making permanent change. In fact, my Clear Beliefs, Get Results program provides step by step methods for eliminating limiting beliefs and replacing them with those that serve you better.

4. Getting a 'Round Tuit'

Whew! That last strategy got a little heavy, so this one's on the lighter side... although we can be motivated to get things done for others, our own stuff can take a back seat.

How many times have you said, "I'll get my stuff done when I get around to it?"

Well, there goes your excuse, because here it is... a "Round Tuit". And, like hen's teeth, they're very rare and hard to come by! Move your own stuff to the top of the priority list and 'get tuit'!

You can thank me later...😁

5. It's hard to feel successful without a clear vision of what success means to you.

Many are content to just float along, like driftwood, allowing life to buffet them around. Truly successful people have a plan. This is a juicy topic and we'll share lots of tips in future News Flashes, however, right now, take a few moments to allow yourself to dream about what your life COULD be like.

To be successful, it's important to take note of your dreams and clearly identify your goals. Writing things down with intention and faith, 'spells' them in to existence. Words are powerful, like a 'wand' ...and one reason you were taught 'spelling' in school, even though your teacher didn't likely tell you about that! Every word spoken (or written) sends out 'vibration' and begins to attract things that are like it. If you take note of those who speak about disease, doubt, fear or lack, they invariably experience them. So, be careful with your conversations, and speak only truth with your words. 


OK, I know that was a lot and you certainly don't have to follow all the ideas, but whatever you decide, make sure you're consistent and stick with it. Improving life takes time and effort.  Listen to the words you speak, the excuses you make, and the stories you tell yourself about why you're feeling as you are. Following these strategies will help you feel better about yourself. It's important to know who you are, so you can get more of what you want and do more of what you love. (See the link below for a FREE resource with a similar name.)

If you could use some additional support figuring out where to start and what to do, send me a message and I'll let you know more about how we can connect.

One more thing...

I spent hours writing this because I want to help as many natural over-contributors as possible. There are many who are working really hard and not getting the results they deserve, simply because they don't know how. 

It's my passion to powerfully guide you in aligning beliefs & desires (head) with dreams & passions (heart) so you transform resistance. Stumbling blocks melt away and, as perspectives adjust, there's a confident reconnection and synergy with your inner guidance system, so you simply begin to THRIVE!

If you know someone who might find these strategies interesting or helpful, please Share. Oh, and thanks in advance for re-posting to your social media!

Sending Only Goodness,

 Lorraine

 

P. S. Here are 3 ways we can get connected:

1.  After reading this news flash, let me know how it resonated with you. I appreciate the feedback - the good, the bad, the excited, the sad... and even the really ugly!  Send your thoughts or comments to: support@headheartsynergy.com

2.  Get the FREE resource, "Know Who You Are & Get More of What You Want, Right Now..."

3. Visit this webpage to explore what's next for you on your path to better living.